Trotting Out the Attack Ads
"Which attack ad would you like to see first, Mr. President?"
"Let’s see, Dick. Which one is the best?"
"Well, the one on Senator Kerry flip-flopping is very good. It leads off by talking about him changing his mind on the war in Iraq. Makes him look indecisive and weak."
"Yeah, but he is going to say the intelligence on Iraq that caused him to vote for the war was wrong and we knew it. He’ll say that is the reason he changed his mind."
"Yes, I have heard that, but no one outside of Washington will know what we said and when we said it. All we have to do is keep saying he is weak on defense and changes his mind."
"What else we got?"
"There’s a story on the Internet that when Kerry was in the POW-MIA talks with Vietnam that he and his staff ate a pizza that was for his flight crew. What kind of man would take the crew’s lunch and pass it around to his big-shot staff?"
"Can you find the person who saw this happen?"
"We’re trying, Mr. President, but the story is many years old. However, we think it is a good one and it shows how Senator Kerry is only looking out for himself and his friends."
"Okay, so we call him a flip-flopper based on the stuff we said that wasn’t true, and say that taking a pizza shows that he only cares for himself. That’s great. What else?"
"We have a new one about his first purple heart, how he pushed his commander to put him in for the decoration."
"Great. What does it say?"
Um. Well, . . . that’s what it says, Mr. President, that Senator Kerry had a scratch that bled and he badgered his C.O. for a purple heart."
"Yeah, I know. What else does it say?"
"Well, nothing, sir. We are just repackaging that story to remind people how he promotes himself."
"What about the other two purple hearts? Anything on them?"
"No, sir. They appear to be genuine awards for wounds he suffered in combat."
"What else, Dick?"
"The last one is about Senator Kerry lying about having sport utility vehicles, saying they belong to his wife."
"Oh, yeah. That was a great one."
"Yes, sir. Those four ads will be vital for defeating Senator Kerry in November."
"Yeah, they will. Hey, how about some poll ads, showing how much of a lead we have on Kerry?"
"We don’t have any numbers like that, Mr. President. In fact, the Senator seems to be pulling ahead in several polls."
"Well, look harder. Laura was talking to a neighbor back home and she said everyone was voting for me."
"Yes, Mr. President."